Educating children with respect is a correct way for them to develop and for them to be capable of having a good personality that helps them grow and be people of integrity and success when they reach adulthood. But sometimes we can feel doubtful about what exactly is educating with respect and what is not. You may do things thinking that you are educating with respect and that the reality is that you are going beyond permissiveness.
Excessive permissiveness will not have good consequences in the education of your children, so it is very important to know how to find the balance between flexibility and limits. This is educating with respect … To educate with respect you have to know how to say no and also set limits and norms in the education of our children. Norms and limits are necessary for children to grow in confidence and trust with their parents.
Don’t let the criticism scare you
Perhaps if you have decided to raise your children with respect, you have received some criticism from other people. You may have ever heard that if you raise your children with respect, they will grow up to be spoiled and spoiled children, that when they grow up they will not be able to deal with their own frustrations or to function well in today’s adult world.
There is a misconception and too generalized about education with respect. Many people – even those who think that they educate through respect for their children – think that educating with respect and attachment is synonymous with letting children do what they want, not setting limits or not saying ‘no’ to any of them. its impositions … And nothing is further from reality.
For this reason, it is important that if you decide to raise your children from mutual respect, you take into account some things that are not educating with respect and that many people think they are. The time has come to change these distorted thoughts to make way for quality respectful parenting that is truly child friendly.
Never give negative to children
We do not live in an idyllic world where the negative does not exist. Many people think that saying no to their children can create trauma or hurt their feelings and avoid it at all costs. But children must learn that the word ‘does not’ exist and needs to be said in their education. It is important that they listen to this word and understand that sometimes, it is necessary to say it and that you have to accept receiving it.
When a child is given a refusal, it is common for a tantrum to be triggered, but it is necessary to be flexible and calm, explain why not and give him different alternatives so that he can have a minimum control over his environment. Saying ‘no’ to a child many times is just as negative as never saying it. You have to know how to choose the right moments.
The lack of limits in parenting will not make them avoid frustration, rather it will make them feel insecure and have even more frustration. Children need to be frustrated to learn to cope with life and not depend on others to overcome obstacles. It is not about avoiding frustrations, nor about enhancing them … Simply that if the child falls into it, that he learns to handle it. Learn from frustration so that you can get the good out of it and take advantage of the situation.
A life without limits
In addition, the limits exist and must be reasoned and in many cases agreed. Children need to know what is yes and what is not, and also to be aware that they too have a say. That they understand what the natural consequences of their actions are and that there are limits and rules that must be met in order to live in harmony, being a win-win for everyone.
Educating from respect is not overprotecting, it is accompanying.